So sorry ...

It's been a quiet week, haven't had any time to update my blog... actually, was not in right mood to write up a blog all week. I've been feeling too depressed, I think I've hit an all time low... I'm sitting here at my usual retreat in Gadong, nice quiet cosy place, not too busy here and the sights are relaxing. I'm feeling a little bit better now, I guess an ice tea and the calmness here, while watching the world go by really helps....

Whats been going on.... well, Ms Angel dropped by my place last weekend, caught me off-guard really. She said we needed to talk, I wasn't to thrilled about it but how could I say no?? The woman whom I missed so much was standing at my door,asking if she could come in. She literally spent the night (actually we got to talking till dawn, so yeah, she spent the night with me and no, we didn't sleep with each other!). We talked and talked, with some tears from her,... a lot was said between us, a lot that should have been said a long time ago. It seems she's confused as I am, though she doesn't show it, she's feeling messed up about it too. She's more stronger than me. She often wonders of how I feel about our 'situation' , apparently her assumptions were wrong. We did agree on one thing, that we're both very hard-headed not to resolve our issues with each other. I said what I had to say and she had words for me too. We've been holding out on each other and that's what kills us. I agree no one is a mind reader, we were both to arrogant to address our problems together, silence can be misinterpreted so badly. Both of us still miss each other, miss spending time together but it's just that the timing is never right. We've agreed not to see each other in open places, since she is a colleague and my senior in fact. So it's not really a good thing to be seen together in public. Life can be so compromising sometimes. Anyway, I'm used to it, we're already strangers, everyone only sees us as workmates in the office, our life is just a show and the world is our audience. We're gonna meet up tonite, probably catch a movie or something, I'm hoping it goes well...

I don't know what brought Ms Angel to my door that night, but I'm thankful that she was there. Maybe my life will go back to normal, maybe it'll change?? Who knows? I do suspect that she feels threatened to lose me to somebody else, I just have that feeling. Maybe it's that new girl in the office?? She's quite cute, petite and always looks like she's smiling even though she's not. She's got a figure even Ms Angel is envious about!! She's been eyeing me all this time, you know the long eye contact coupled with a sweet smile and friends seem to say that maybe she has a thing for me... I don't know?? Yes, maybe that's it... I'll call her Ms Dragon for now.... Angel versus Dragon... now that's something to talk about...