Goodbyes...

It's been a quiet weekend for me, stayed indoors, mostly in a daze...looking at my aquarium... needed time on my own, away from the world. Lastly week, Ms Angel dropped the bomb on me...she told me she was moving away to take up a job somewhere in the states. I was shocked...speechless...more over I was in disbelief...I don't accept change easily...never have, my heart felt as if it stopped beating for a while...my mind was numb, I didn't have much to say about it...not that I could do anything to change her mind, it's the choice she's made and I'm sure she has thought it through with little regret of leaving me behind. I feel abandoned by her choice... I know now that I have lost and can't fight anymore. She will be forever gone from my life now... I hope she'll be happy in her new life, while I'm still trying to heal from mine.

Time alone has made me reminisce of the first time we had met and the moments we shared in joy and pain. It put a little smile on me, but then I only felt truly happy when she was mine... Despite the many heartaches I've been through, everything else didn't matter as long as she was around me. But now, all that will change...I have to let go, I have to let go of her from my life...I keep thinking of how am I going to, when I need her so much...I think about my life without her and sorrow wraps itself around my heart. I feel as if the biggest mistake in my life was meeting her, so I have to let go of her... It's better to be in a moment of pain...rather than a lifetime of hurt. It's not that I don't care about her at all...it's because I care for her too much I'm like this. I don't care what she thinks of me after all this, my lips will be sealed...no longer will I speak of her and how I feel about her. No more thoughts of her...no more memories of us...absolutely no more! No matter how hard it'll be... I will erase what feelings I have of her . It may sound cruel and heartless, but I have to turn my back on her... It's the only way to say goodbye until these feelings disappear...