Time...

It's time for a change in my life... I keep reminding myself that everyday...no more empty promises to myself... Time to take back control of my life, no more Ms Angel in my life...no more excuses... I'm sick to death of dealing with sadness till no end. It's not fair at all...life can be unfair and nobody seems to complain?? I'm in one of my moods today... where I just don't care anymore, I'm overwhelmed with tantrums, I wish I could be someone else sometimes...living a different life, a happy one that is...abandon all my worries & pains. It's not easy to change my ways, It's not easy to adjust from my normal routine, then again..that's if i choose to accept my change is another story?? what am I saying?? Ramblings again...I'm making no sense at all anymore, please forgive me...maybe I'm going nuts for nothing.

My life is a little chaotic at the moment...so many deadlines to meet at work...so many e-mails to answer...how I wish that time would just slow down for me...just once..please?? No news of Ms Angel, all I see when I look across to her office is the darkness...and the shadows of people passing by...how depressing is that for me. Ms Dragon has been round to see me more often than normal, even she e-mails more often than normal, sometimes just about trivial matters... I think she knows how unhappy I am and trying to do her bit in cheering me up, even though I just keep quiet about. Maybe she's forgiven me for not accepting her dinner & movie invitation, but I do commend her on her persistence in asking me out, despite previous rejections. Her advances are starting to grow on me...I feel more wanted now by her attention...should I consider myself available once more...or should I just wait for 'her' who will not return to me... another dilemma perhaps?? I still feel uneasy about her... somethings just not right with her...maybe it's just me, maybe I have 'trust issues' after Ms Angel??? I'm so insecure....