It is often said that "Life" is always what you make of it... I guess that much is true, we choose our own paths in life, no one else determines our destiny but ourselves. Despite the cheerful festivities of Aidilfitri, I find myself still enveloped in sadness and confusion. Sadness because It's another year alone by myself, while close friends are out celebrating with their intimate others... Confusion because whatever relationship I have with Tengku S doesn't seem to go past the infatuation we have for each other... maybe I'm just in resentment??! My trip away was a good distraction from MsDragon...I guess she's gone back to Oz by now since I haven't heard from her yet...I hope she realises that I'm not looking for her anymore, though I still think of her...I've been avoiding her texts and calls since leaving...I'm starting to feel the guilt building up inside me...believe me, I'm not trying to be mean...but what choice do I have...?? I need to put my past behind me...cruelty...it's an act of desperation in my book. My brief one day detour to KL was good...I enjoyed my iftar with Tengku S... her company was refreshing, something I really needed to unwind after a hectic week of meetings, presentations and negotiations. We talked about so many things...things happening in our daily lives...I'm impressed, she's a good listener too. We got to a point where it came to a topic about ' US '...something we've been trying to avoid all this time. We've decided to take things easy...like one step at a time...so as not to ruin what we have for each other now. I'm guessing, we're just being careful...long distance relationships are easily short lived...too many unwanted temptations out there. The good news is she's flying over next weekend to spend Aidilfitri here with me...something I'm really looking forward to...spending time with Tengku S on home ground. Even if it's only going to be for two days, it'll be something I'm grateful for... I hope.
" To all my faithful readers... have a blessed Eid-ul Fitr Mubarak this year...much love, Joe ."
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