Listen to that...nothing...just the sound of raindrops outside...I can't believe how anyone can sleep through this thunderstorm...My body is tired, but my mind is wide awake...thoughts...tantrums and 'whatevers' plague my mind. Tossing and turning did not help...I'm fully awake again...I can hear the wind and raindrops crashing at my window...I feel helpless at the mercy of the weather...how I wish I wasn't alone at this point in time. It's been on my mind...was I wrong not to let MsAngel come home with me...what if I was..?? What if she did..?? A whole lot of 'what ifs ' inside this confused head of mine... A better part of me assured myself that it was good judgement that made me say it...then again the gullible side of me is regretting the decision...the conflicts within me, it's a burdening insanity...??! Layman's terms..." it's driving me nuts! ". I look at my phone...5 missed calls and a dozen texts...it's from her!!... She's playing me...teasing me...hoping to get lucky, I suppose...and she's not afraid to say it. She's hinting how excited she gets when she's alone with me...etc... I feel hopeless...I don't want to regret my actions...been there...done that...don't wanna go through it again...I want to ignore her...but the dirty messages she sends me doesn't help at all...I'm weak...I hate myself now...
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