Imperfect....

I can't make right any of my past mistakes...I can only learn from them...even if I've never regretted them either and I can't change the person I am...it's not my fault if i wasn't born PERFECT. My day started out fine...besides the stress of my heavy workload...I felt a slight sense of freedom from not having to lock myself inside my office...no more worries of Ms Angel steam-rolling in to an awkward confrontation.

Moving on throughout the day, I assumed it to be tantrum-free...a first since my affairs with MsAngel began...however, upon being visited by the 'colleague' who apparently is going out with MsAngel...the ugly signs start to appear in my mind. Even now that she's left...she didn't take her 'boyfriend' with her...and now the guy is looking for a shoulder to cry on... slumped on my sofa, feeling so down because his girlfriend had to leave him behind and doesn't know if he can survive a long-distance relationship...?? He didn't actually say that he was going out with MsAngel...just referring to her as 'my baby' ..... my baby this...my baby that...*sigh*...It's starting to annoy me deeply. If only he knew the truth about us, if only...but I don't ' kiss & tell ' . Playing along, i innocently asked him...how long has he been out with her...to which he replied that they had only been going out seriously for the last two months...pretending to be surprised, I said to him...well if the relationship is fairly recent, then he has nothing to worry about...it's not like everything's gone stale. I tried to put his mind at ease...but what he said next really shocked me...he was comparing himself to MsAngels secret-x boyfriend...saying he never knew who he was, but she used to talk about him and that she didn't want to be with him because she found out that he had a disease... along the lines of saying...he's not perfect for her because of that...??!! That stunned me...I was speechless...trying not to give myself away...I ended the conversation with him, on excuse that I had a meeting to attend... he thanked me for being an ear to his dilemma...and left.

Now that I know the absolute truth, for what she did to me was intentional and mean...only MsAngel knew of my condition...I thought she would understand me by now...another mistake. I can't believe she didn't look at me beyond my imperfections...the damage is done...no remedies can heal this heart anymore. Maybe this is how it feels to be betrayed by an angel...