I am Paranoid....

After my last post, I have a creeping suspicion... she's found out about my blog?! Yes, i get paranoid easily... I'm insecure and humbly embarrassed. Don't know why I feel this way today... She's been giving me cocky looks..whats up with that?? I caught her staring at me this morning... she looked so cheeky with that grin... ok..ok...it was more of a smirk, but a cute one none the less.. I miss that playfulness of hers... *sigh* she can be quite the tease....

Could it be true that she has been reading my blogs? But how? I started this blog as an escape from my reality, a place where I can express my tantrums, a place where I can hide my sadness..., a place where I can try to make sense out of my dilemmas. To reassure myself, I have checked my site monitor for the umpteenth time... I'm optimistic but not convinced. I wonder what would happen if she did? It still won't make things right... I want to forget her... I remind myself everyday... It's as if she has this sixth sense and can tell when I'm trying to ignore her. All she has to do is look at me... and I will fall. Maybe that's how Superman felt about telling Lois Lane who he really is??! Hmmm.....

"The first step is always the biggest leap..."

I'm getting tired of this... I want to blog about other stuff, but my mind is so hooked up on 'her'... I'm hell bent on going through this... I want to forget... I want to forget... I want my life back!!...