Unexpected....

There are a lot of things on my mind... I'm more than confused at the moment...much more in pain than ever...I feel so betrayed... I am hating the truth for now. Am I not supposed to have the things I want in life?? Things have never gone my way, regardless how much I try to make it...everything usually ends up so twisted... It all started during the weekend, I choose to clear my thoughts by going for a ride on my bike around town...it's amazing how much an adrenaline rush can temporarily make you forget about all your problems. I cancelled what ever appointments I had...I needed to spend time on my own...no Ms Angel... no Ms Dragon to think about. All was well, until I reached the Mall...queueing up during the jam, I couldn't help but notice this couple walking past me crossing the busy road....hand in hand...all smiles and laughter...so much in love, everything a couple should be. Taking a second long look... it was Ms Dragon!! I couldn't believe it...I didn't want to believe it...I just couldn't accept it!! All this time...could this be the secret she's been keeping from me? I guess with my helmet on, she didn't recognise me...I don't think she knows about me having a motorcycle at all. My mind instantly went blank... first Ms Angel... now her?! My mind wanders...what am I to her... another scandal in her life perhaps or maybe I'm just cheap thrill in her books. I've gone through so much betrayal in this life...I'm fed up with it all... my perceptions have changed... I've lost interest in life and love...

That was two days ago... I'm still speechless about it, nothing much to think about...the damage is done. I haven't seen or spoken to Ms Dragon lately...only replying her texts briefly, saying I'm just busy with work and purposely locking my office door... I don't want to confront her just yet. I know she is not mine or I am hers...but she's managed to hurt me...betray me...unexpectedly. Another unforgivable mistake I've gotten myself into... I want to be alone for now... I choose to give up on love & happiness for now.... maybe some people are just meant to be alone.....