Feelings...

It's not even the end of the day, and I'm already depressed as it is.... I hate this. when I'm depressed... I look miserable. when I look miserable, the whole office notices and unnecessery questions are asked.... If asked, I usually have no answers and end up walking away in silence. I don't know why, I guess I have a lot on my mind and I temporarily avoid my issues by diving myself in my work. It's only afterwards, on my drive home... my 'issues of life & love' would slowly, but surely sink back in.

I'm starting to miss Ms Angel again, even when I tell myself that it's over. I keep telling myself her love for me was only temporary, that she's not meant to be mine. So much conflicts within me.... I've made my choice to be alone, a very painful choice.... something that will leave a scar inside, but nonetheless a healthy choice for my soul and I should follow it, no matter how much I think of her. Letting someone go is never easy... Regreting the choice to let go is even harder. Sometimes while just sitting in my office, and the thought of 'her' appears... I just feel like crying it out... just to let go of all those memories of her, thats how weak she makes me. I hope she realises that someday... if it matters.

Anyway, I'm trying to cope with all thats happening around me, and trying to be a little optimistic for the next day... maybe things will work out for me tomorrow... maybe I'll be able to love someone again... looking past all this sadness I'm in... maybe.....