Burn & Soul - Bidadari

I am Me....

Hey everyone...it's been awhile...I deeply apologise for such a dissapearence...life has been taking me hostage for sometime...my thoughts are non-existent at all. You maybe wondering what I've been up to lately for the past couple of months and no I didn't abandon my blog...abscond would be a better word for it, hopefully I'm here to stay for now on. For those who may not know, I have been away for sometime, work commitments have chopped, screwed and spat-out what ever life I may have called my own...then, hence laziness sets in, though the body may be healthy, but the mind remains too de-moralized to blog...

As for Love in my life...it's still a big void...nothing filled except for caution & spite...an assuring combination followed by darkness and uncertainty...dramatically, it may sound disturbing to some...honestly, ...well being alone makes the mind conjure up weird...be it uncanny thoughts. I 've put love on hold for now, I feel that I kinda don't wanna get mixed up in it...life seems too complexed as it is...and the thought of romance has some how lost it's prized meaning to me...however I'm not resenting it at all...just taking a back seat from all the action I suppose. Please note that this is not an attempt to forget love at all...it's just my way of shelving it for future reference, a comical but technical term used by a close friend. I've been too unlucky for too long...it's best that I take a break and start to appreciate what I already have...a loving family and the company of genuine friends. A tough decision it may seem, but one that is much required from within. I even ' accidentally ' ran into my first love the other day...I was surprised at myself...rather more proud to say the least that I didn't even get any flashbacks this time...no more reminders of past pain...I must have gotten over it...or then again maybe I'm just heartless now...who knows?!?

By the way, I'd like to wish everyone a " Selamat Hari Raya Aidilifitri...mohon maaf lahir & batin.. ". I hope everyone had a meaningful raya as I did this year... At least this year I got to be with my family during Ramadhan and Syawal...something that I'll cherish and always feel blessed and thankful for. Ramadhan has always been a calming time for me, life feels a bit more balanced...during the day I would be engrossed with work, keeping myself busy and all...by night I'd look forward to performing the tarawih prayers...it was very soothing to the mind & soul...I felt safe from harm and difficulties. Insyallah, I shall meet Ramadhan again next year...Amin. However, Syawal seemed more quieter this year...most of the time was spent with close family...I didn't even get to visit any friends this year...dunno why...like I said it just seemed quieter this year...