Dreams come true...Nightmares haunt you...

It's raining outside...the sound deafens my peace...I'm messed up...really messed up again. Trying to carry on with my life is just another understatement...how do I move on, is another...??! I guess it started last weekend, feeling hungry on a Saturday night...I detoured to McDonalds on my way home...hoping that a BigMac & shake would suffice my appetite...instead I got more than I bargained for...while queueing I got a tapped on my shoulder...followed by a " Excuse I'm in a rush...do you mind?? " Surprised at such a remark...I turned around...eyes wide open, I kinda was taken aback at my sight...it was MsAngel!!?? Shocked as I was...trying to maintain a stunned composure...the only words that blurted out of me was " Your back..?? " MsAngel was getting herself some munchies as well...hence the surprise encounter or was it intended on her part??! I could sense that something had changed about her...she was grinning ear to ear...A takeaway was out of the question...I think I was given a guilt-trip about it and found myself sitting at the table with her...she wanted to do some catching up. She's back for CNY...a short stay for a week, then it's back to the States. Going forward...she' upset with me still for not replying any of her e-mails...and more upset for not replying her texts...I only answered with reason that's she's already spoken for, and that it would just hurt me more trying to get over her. Being pleased with herself for having the courage to ask me bluntly must have boosted her confidence...she had the cheek to ask me if she could come to my place..?? Eyes rolled wide, I had a faint smile...and said something like..." Wouldn't he mind??...." she replied..." it's over between us!! I found it out the hard way...he was screwing some bi#@h..!! ". My conscience got the best of me...I politely declined her advances, saying that I was staying at my parents house for temporarily, while my flat was painted...told her I repainted my kitchen...so the smell is still overwhelming...which is true up to a point, I got my kitchen painted last year...so a little doesn't hurt anyone. We went our separate ways later that night...left there with mixed feelings...and flashbacks of a painful past started to play in my mind again.

A few days have passed, apart from getting a text invite to her open house for CNY...I haven't heard much from her...not that I'm hoping for anything to happen...really I am....