Smile....you're home...

I'm home...home sweet home...no place I'd rather be...than here. I've been waiting so long to say that...it sounds kinda over-rated by now??! It's good to be back...an unexplainable feeling...as if to exhale all the built up stress over the past few weeks...the work has been draining my soul. Rest & relaxation is my only remedy...

About my trip...it's been a while since my last trip to NY...nothing much has changed...the city...the people...it's all the same... The only difference this time is that...MsAngel was there...like I said before, I 'm not gonna get myself hurt by her anymore...I resisted temptation...but still fell victim to lust & desire. Things happened between us, like a careless mistake...history repeats itself. This time round she caught me off guard... with talks of commitments, family and subtle hints of settling down... Confused...my mind is clouded by so many questions...my judgement unreasoned towards the sincerity of her gestures. Was it something that she had planned..or was it ignited by the moment..??!! I don't know...things happen for a reason, but there are so many mysteries in this world...it's hard to say what reasons would determine our destiny...right? Anyway, I kinda ignored her 'issues' for awhile...not because of being insensitive towards her feelings...but because I have no answers for her...My heart is in a place it doesn't want to be... I'm not convinced that she is the happiness I am longing for...nor am I prepared to give-in to her demands. Now the guilt haunts me...if whether I made the right choice...*sigh*. On the other hand, the plus side of my trip was that I managed to have a reunion with a few of my Indonesian college buddies living in L.A. , it was good to talk about old times and how our lives have changed over the years since then... I guess overall, we felt blessed at how our lives have turned out in the end...though they were a little surprised at why I haven't settled down with a family yet... I kindly replied that perhaps it's just not my time yet and I'll just have to be patient about it...

Well, I guess that about sums it up in a nutshell...a brief account of what's been happening since I've been away...I'm making the most of my short holiday...spending quality time with my loved ones...before I have to leave again...back to my daily grind...