Smile....

Today was maybe one of my good days... although work was chaotic as usual. Even while driving to the office, I dreaded another day of her ignoring me. I usually retreat from these feelings by listening to the tunes on my ipod while giving 200% attention to the work at hand. This 'shut out the whole world' method works for me by the way.

Anyway, then she walked in...like every other morning before, I would get the same cold, cold stare, the still unemotional frown coupled with a fast and tight lipped "gud morning!!" To which my usual reply would just be a gentle nod or a faint smile.

" However, something looked different?! She looked different?! I felt different?! "

I couldn't help it, I couldn't take my eyes of her!!... Maybe it was how she was dressed... maybe?? Whatever it was... She was HOT!! and I think she felt that off me. Jaws dropped and eyes fixed... yes! she brought out the big guns!! I realised she had on, an exact outfit I described to her sometime, maybe awhile back... something that I thought she would look gorgeous in, but also thought that she would never consider wearing. My bad...

All these thoughts of regret came flowing back at me... It made me remember how much I miss her. A better part of me was holding me back, constantly saying " ignore her...ignore her... it's not worth the grief... ". The foolish part of me decided to send her an e-mail, complimenting her on how gorgeous she looked, together with some small talk to get the ball rolling between us again. I must have wrote something like...

" I think you know how I feel about what you're wearing... me likes.. You look absolutely gorgeous today!"

Usually, after a few minutes, I would be blessed with an eager reply from her, yes e-mail for me at the office is more of a chat program for me... an abuse of resources.. I know... but who cares anyway. Minutes passed, then hours... after lunch... no reply from her. I was kinda disappointed, thinking to myself of how much she must really hate me... I made a fool of myself again..let my guard down... I'm ashamed... Somebody shoot me please?!

At least all was not in vain. I noticed that after the e-mail, I could see some smiles on her, I could hear some laughter from her...I could feel she was happy, a few things that I missed about her too. I must have made her day with my remark and strangely It somehow made my day too... even if my e-mail was not replied.... but still, It did make my day... :)