It's cold here...very miserably cold...the snow is thick and slippery...I'm thankful I brought my winter gear along. Actually, I got an e-mail from MsDragon before I left...1 of her daily updates to me...asking me to bring my winter clothes along since it snowed heavily this week...being not surprised about it...she knew of my arrival here...I guess she still does have connections (aka spies) in the office still...I should be more careful from now on, not too leak any future travel info outside of my own department...safer that way for me. It's been a busy schedule since I got here...meetings...visits...consultations and dinners... the usual...all work and NO play travel. i hope i'll get some free time to myself soon...just for an afternoon 'chilltime' in the city would do...not much to ask for...I'm not the shopping type of traveller...more laid back instead.Just read a recent e-mail from MsDragon...asking me how I've been...since my arrival here... i'm just itching to answer...but I hold myself back... I'm scared to think of what it'll lead to...another dissapointment I'm guessing. She said that she coming to Melbourne for a few days...she really wants to meet up with me at my hotel...yes...she knows where I'm staying too. How do I get myself out of it...the naive part of me misses her...but the sensible side of me says otherwise... I'm getting confused with myself now... I know I've ever mentioned that I'm not here to look for her...but never did I anticipate for her to look for me..??!! I don't think there's a big enough rock here, big enough for me to hide under...then again...Why should I hide?! Why should I run?! Why should I be scared?!...This is ridiculous!! I'm starting to contradict myself again...it must be the cold weather... I'm not myself...I have no control...I must be cautious...
I don't know what I'm going to do when she shows up at my door...I don't know what I'm going say when we're face to face once again...and I certainly don't know how I should feel when she's around me...maybe when the time comes I'll know...maybe that is... I'm just trying to be optimistic about it... I can't let her hurt me like before, no matter what happens...thats for sure...
2 comments:
Hey there, been a silent reader for a while and admiring ur writings eversince.
Juz A little thought:
So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Eventually feels a lot better than actually. - from Grey's Anatomy actually.
f08 - Thanks for the support, Appreciate your thoughts and kind words...I believe too that things happen for a reason...unfortunately I also have to deal with the unhappiness that goes with it...so I'm just taking it one step at a time from now on... :)
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