I find myself losing time more frequent than ever...I don't know why it happens, I lose track of time so easily...how uncertain can one be ?! With the busy week behind me...I hope I'll have more time to write, it's been one hurdle after another...why write anything when your whole mind is a mess?! why bother..?? I'm learning to be alone for now, slowly embracing the fact that I have no more emotional attachments to anyone at all...it's not easy to change oneself...but then, change is always good for the broken heart. I'm rambling again...
Updates...what has happened since my last post...MsAngel has admitted to having someone else...hence why I've been ignoring her the whole time since my return to work. Thank goodness today is her last day...no more hiding from her...no more excuses. I maybe hurt by her...but I do feel slightly relieved that she is going away...maybe I'm feeling better, now that it's all over. No more feelings of an incomplete love affair. What's in my thoughts for now is still MsDragon...to me, I guess she was the ' one that got away ' ...but then again she is committed to her one other. She has been frequently e-mailing me since leaving...almost daily in-fact, like wondering what I'm up too...if I'm alright or not...and just telling me what she's been up to or about to do...like a daily blog, but personally addressed to me. Her stories are light-hearted, and often puts a smile on my face...but in the end I'm still saddened that her heart is not mine. I have not replied any of her e-mails...don't think I will...and she knows that of me...yet she still sends me one without fail everyday. What is she trying to prove to me...a show of commitment? I don't know...but whatever it is...I hope she doesn't stop...because somewhere deep within, there's still a small part of me that really doesn't want to let her go... and that's what scares me. Why?? Because I can never trust myself to make the right choices... so don't blame me, I'm only human...
Updates...what has happened since my last post...MsAngel has admitted to having someone else...hence why I've been ignoring her the whole time since my return to work. Thank goodness today is her last day...no more hiding from her...no more excuses. I maybe hurt by her...but I do feel slightly relieved that she is going away...maybe I'm feeling better, now that it's all over. No more feelings of an incomplete love affair. What's in my thoughts for now is still MsDragon...to me, I guess she was the ' one that got away ' ...but then again she is committed to her one other. She has been frequently e-mailing me since leaving...almost daily in-fact, like wondering what I'm up too...if I'm alright or not...and just telling me what she's been up to or about to do...like a daily blog, but personally addressed to me. Her stories are light-hearted, and often puts a smile on my face...but in the end I'm still saddened that her heart is not mine. I have not replied any of her e-mails...don't think I will...and she knows that of me...yet she still sends me one without fail everyday. What is she trying to prove to me...a show of commitment? I don't know...but whatever it is...I hope she doesn't stop...because somewhere deep within, there's still a small part of me that really doesn't want to let her go... and that's what scares me. Why?? Because I can never trust myself to make the right choices... so don't blame me, I'm only human...
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